How 'Screw the Bitch' Became a Father's Rights Manifesto Part I

This blatantly misogynistic book has become a textbook for abusive men's tactics in family courts.

There is a group of women the #MeToo movement has ignored; they call themselves protective mothers.

They and their children are victims of spousal abuse who then suffer legal abuse by the courts when they try to leave.

These mothers and their children are not believed; the women are called vindictive and often labeled with psychological problems. 

Their children are forced to live in abusive homes while they are left broke and struggling to pay exorbitant child support payments to the man who had abused them.

This phenomenon has much of its roots in the 1990s and three things drove it.

It was the misogynist book "Screw the Bitch", fatherhood.gov, an initiative created under Bill Clinton in the welfare reform package, and parental alienation, a dubious label applied to women in these cases. 

Sandra Grazzini-Rucki

"He had a copy of it," Sandra Grazzini-Rucki told me of ex-husband David and the book "Screw the Bitch."

Just as in the book, her ex-husband hid assets, moved money, and turned off her utilities, in anticipation of the divorce.

Sandra Grazzini-Rucki's parents were the original investors in Medtronic, a heath-care company with a market cap of more than $100 billion, but she's,  homeless, jobless, a six-time felon, and if you believe most of the media, a vindictive mother who hid her kids from their innocent dad.

I previously wrote a book about this case with Grazzini-Rucki’s attorney, Michelle MacDonald entitled, “Sandra Grazzini-Rucki and the World’s Last Custody Trial.”

Referring to purported evidence of abuse, Elizabeth Vargas, on the 20/20 episode “Footprints in the Snow, said to Grazzini-Rucki, “we could find none of it.”

Vargas said this even though Child Protective Services (CPS) had twenty-five pages of complaints by the children against their father, including an allegation he'd stuck a gun to his then eight-year-old son's head.

In a news story, he was alleged to have threatened to kill his wife and five children, subsequently leaving six-gun shots on his daughter's voicemail. 

In fact, the evidence of abuse is so extensive there's a ninety nine page document of police reports, photos, affidavits, protection order applications,  and more, describing his abuse.

Even though she was primary caretaker to all her five children, and they lived with her to start the divorce in 2011, a judge, David Knutson, ordered a custody switch on

September 7, 2012; the switch was based on the recommendation of psychologist Paul Reitman, who said the kids suffered from parental alienation. 

“The children appear very depressed and browbeaten.” Reitman wrote in his report to the court. “Their mother appears out of touch and suffering from a personality disorder.”

Despite this court order the kids were initially allowed to live with their maternal aunt, Nancy Olson. 

On April 19, 2013, they were ordered to live with their paternal aunt, Tami Love, with the understanding this was a transition to their father.

The two oldest daughters, Samantha and Gianna, ran shortly after being dropped off to Love by local police. The girls stayed with a couple on a horse farm for abused children until they were found in November 2015.

Grazzini-Rucki and others were convicted of hiding them, in violation of court orders, which is where her six felonies come from.

The corruption can be summed up in one document: therapist's notes from a court appointed therapist, Jim Gilbertson, from April 9, 2013.

“Successive phone calls between attempting to contact Ms. Fredrick, conference calls with Ms. Olson, the maternal aunt, and Dr. Love, the paternal aunt.

“I immediately received a call from Ms. Olson stating that she wanted the transfer to occur as soon as possible because of the fear the children will learn of this through some unknown means and will run.” Gilbertson said in the notes.

Though Gilbertson claimed the court order had already come out in the notes, that court order would not come out until April 19, 2013, meaning this was all communicated ex-parte, and everyone involved knew the danger they would place the kids in; Grazzini-Rucki was still the only one blamed.

Samantha, in a recording, accused Gilbertson of rubbing her back and shoulder while getting an erection during a break in court. 

Though this case would attract enormous attention down the road, Gilbertson did not seem worried on the day the girls went missing.

“I left a message with Frederick on her voicemail briefly outlining the events of the day and both Samantha and Gianna had now left, but we did not believe they were in any physical unsafe position,” Gilbertson wrote on April 19, 2013, in the notes.

David Rucki did not respond to a voicemail for comment on his cell phone; his sister, Tammy Love, hung up when reached on her cell phone and his long time divorce attorney, Lisa Elliott, also did not respond to an email for comment.

Go to part two here. Part two is behind a paywall.